My hairdresser recently asked me what my secret was. How did I fall pregnant straight away at the age of 35? Her question was a timely one because it is something I have been contemplating a great deal. Did I just get lucky or was there something I did? Apart from the obvious of course! Most, if not all, of my friends have had or are having trouble conceiving. This is a difficult topic of conversation but if my friends asked me for my advice this is what I would say to them during a heart-to -heart:
Heal your relationship with your menstrual cycle
I am not just talking about noting the days of your cycle in your diary, although of course that is a good start. Most doctors will tell you to do that and I am sure you are fed up of waiting for ovulation on day 14. Yes, there is a science to conception. However, there is also a deeper spiritual connection to be made. After being diagnosed with cervical dysplasia in my twenties I have spent years learning to love my period. I really believe that it is of the utmost importance to see the wonder of your womanly cycle.
How do you know when your period is due? Is it because you finished your packet of pills? For me, this was a fundamental shift in my approach. I stopped taking the oral contraceptive pill over 10 years ago and have had a natural cycle since then. Honestly, I am not a fan of the pill. I felt so much better when I stopped taking it and I think that having a natural menstrual cycle has been a huge contributing factor to my fertility.
Start following the phases of the moon. You can buy a lunar diary or download an app for your phone that tells you which moon phase we are in. You will soon start to see a pattern in the moon phases that connects with your menstrual cycle. It is incredible and it fills me with awe that we women are such lunar beings.
There is a lot of literature out there that suggests women bleed with the new moon but don’t worry if you don’t do that. I am a full moon gal myself! Women who menstruate on a full moon tend to have intense periods and that is true for me. What does this have to do with fertility? Ovulation occurs in accordance with lunar phases. Did you know that coral reefs release their eggs after a full moon? Nature is amazing and so are you!
Celebrate being a woman
Our generation is the product of the feminist movement. Whilst this has brought us many benefits, there are a large number of women who feel that they have to fight their feminine nature to be successful. This is absolutely not true. You can still dress like a woman and flaunt your femininity. Unfortunately I meet many people who think that they have to behave like a man in order to get ahead in life. In actual fact, the world needs more of our womanly qualities. I once met a woman who was struggling to conceive. She had been climbing the corporate ladder and spent most of her free time idling about in sports gear. She realised what was happening and over time she made some changes. She started braiding her hair, wore skirts more often and took up a creative hobby. Shortly after, she fell pregnant.
Carry a moonstone crystal
I love working with crystals and I always recommend that women work with moonstone because it is perfect for us. The clue is in the name. Yes, more moon energy! Wearing a moonstone pendant or sleeping with a small piece of moonstone under your pillow will help you to balance your feminine rhythm. Plus, it looks really pretty!
Yoga or movement based practices where you are in your body and are not relying on external machines are fundamental to women’s health. I have been practicing yoga for over a decade and I believe that this helped me to establish a strong connection to my body. I was never a sporty person and I hated my body growing up but a regular yoga practice helped me to embrace my body rather than fight it. Your body will be the home to your future baby so it is vitally important to nurture yourself as you would your child. If yoga is not your thing then I totally understand. It doesn’t have to be yoga. It could be dance, swimming, running or whatever appeals to you. Basically, anything that helps you to feel really connected to your body.
Embrace your sensuality
This is a rather taboo subject to be writing about on a blog (my family are going to read this!) but I do think it is a crucial one. Women are sensual creatures. Learn to see and feel yourself as a goddess. In the years leading up to becoming pregnant, I took lap and pole dance classes. Honestly, I saw bigger changes in my classmates at the pole dance studio than I did at the yoga studio. Discovering your sexy side will absolutely transform your life. What does this have to do with fertility? It has everything to do with fertility because it will help you to prepare your body and soul for enjoyable lovemaking rather than just going through the motions on ovulation day.
Spend time with pregnant women
It is a well-known fact that women who spend a lot of time together start to menstruate together. We are cyclical beings and when we circle we create magic. I know that in the pain of trying to conceive you probably can’t think of anything worse than being around pregnant women. However, if you can pluck up the courage to spend time with a pregnant friend or join a group of pregnant women then it really could help. I once met a woman at a pregnancy coffee morning who wasn’t pregnant. At first, I was surprised that she had joined the group but then I realised that she was in exactly the right place. I really admired her because she was trying to conceive and she had chosen to come along and spend time with all of us. Amazing!
At the end of the day…
I know that there are many medical reasons why women can’t conceive and that some women may never become Mothers in this lifetime. However, I do hope that this will inspire you to take some practical steps to help you increase your chances. I believe that there is a deep wound to the power of the feminine within modern society. This is manifesting in a myriad of different ways, including the fertility issues that seem to be so prevalent these days. Take some time to reflect on why you think this fertility issue is happening to you and what you can do about it. Sometimes we have to look really deep inside ourselves at the dark shadows that we would rather ignore before we can emerge as the goddess that we long to be.